The Most Overlooked Key to Growing a Church
by Rick Warren
Loving unbelievers the way Jesus did is the most overlooked key to growing a church. Without his passion for the lost, we will be unwilling to make the sacrifices necessary to reach them.

The command to love is the most repeated command in the New Testament, appearing at least 55 times. If we don’t love people, nothing else matters. “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” (1 John 4:8). When I’ve asked the new converts I baptize what attracted them to our church family, I’ve never had anyone say, “It was because of the Reformation theology you believe” or “It was your beautiful buildings” or “It was your full calendar of activities.” Instead, the most common response was, “I felt an incredible spirit of love toward me that drew me in.”

Notice the focus of that statement. Our members’ love is focused toward newcomers, not just toward each other. I know of many churches where the members love each other; and they have great fellowship, but the churches are still dying because all the love is focused inwardly. The fellowship in these churches has become so tight that newcomers are unable to break into it. They don’t attract unbelievers because they don’t love unbelievers.

Of course, every congregation thinks their church is loving. That’s because the people who think it is unloving aren’t there! Ask typical members, and they will say, “Our church is very friendly and loving.” What they usually mean is, “We love each other. We are friendly and loving to the people already here.” They love the people they feel comfortable with, but that warm fellowship doesn’t automatically translate into love for unbelievers and visitors.

Some churches point to their lack of a crowd as proof that they are biblical, orthodox, or Spirit-filled. They maintain that their small size is proof that they are a pure church, that they haven’t compromised their beliefs. It may actually mean they don’t love lost people enough to reach out to them. The honest reason many churches do not have a crowd is because they don’t want one! They don’t like having to relate to unbelievers and feel that attracting a crowd would disturb their comfortable routine. This kind of selfishness keeps a lot of churches from growing.

Years ago Dean Kelly published research that showed churches grow because they are conservative in doctrine; they know what they believe and are not ashamed of it. I believe Kelly was only half right. There are many Bible-believing churches that are dying on the vine. Churches that grow are those who hold conservative beliefs and are loving to outsiders. Win Arn has done an exhaustive study that confirms this fact: Great churches are built on love—for God, for each other, and for unbelievers.

One of the primary reasons for Saddleback’s growth is that we love new people. We love visitors. We love the lost. For fifteen years I’ve watched our members express that love in practical ways: setting up and taking down chairs and Sunday school equipment each weekend in temporary facilities, being willing to use 79 different locations so the church could keep growing and reaching more people, parking off campus so visitors could have their parking spots, standing through packed-out services so visitors could have their seats, and even offering their coats to visitors on cold days in our tent.

It is a myth that large churches are always cold and impersonal, and that small churches are automatically warm and loving. Size has nothing to do with love or friendliness. The reason some churches remain small is because they aren’t loving. Love draws people like a powerful magnet. A lack of love drives people away.

In a survey of the unchurched that I took prior to beginning Saddleback, the second most common complaint I discovered was “Church members are unfriendly to visitors. We feel we don’t fit.” Long before the pastor preaches, the visitors are already deciding whether or not they will come back. They are asking themselves, “Do I feel welcome here?”

To make an impact on a visitor, love must be expressed in a practical way. Even if a church genuinely feels compassion for the unchurched, that compassion might not be being expressed in ways the unchurched understand. We must intentionally act in ways that demonstrate our love for visitors and for those who don’t know Christ. Love is more than a feeling; it is a behavior. It means being sensitive to someone else’s needs and putting them ahead of our own.

There is no method, no program, and no technology that can make up for a lack of love for unbelievers. Our love for God and our love for lost people is what motivates Saddleback to keep growing. It is what has motivated me to preach four services each weekend for years even though it is incredibly draining. Believe me, once you’ve delivered a message to a crowd of several thousand, there is no additional personal benefit in repeating it three more times. You do it because people need the Lord. Love is the motivating factor. Love leaves no choice.

Whenever I feel my heart growing cold toward people who don’t know Christ, I remind myself of the cross. That’s how much God loves lost people. It was love, not nails, that kept Jesus on the cross. He stretched out his arms and said, “I love lost people this much!” When Christians love people that much, their churches will attract crowds.

From The Purpose Driven Church: Growing Without Compromising Your Message and Mission by Rick Warren