Courage I Didn't Know I Had
by Katie Brazelton
Public speaking used to scare me silly. There was a time years ago when the prospect of giving a speech made me physically ill. I spent more time in the bathroom being sick than I did giving the talk! As it became obvious that I was going to have to do more and more speaking, I went to my accountability group in despair and whined: “I can’t do this! I’m not good enough. My presentation is scattered; my mouth gets so dry I can’t enunciate; and. my knees shake so bad I’m sure everyone can see them. Plus, I’m not smart enough, holy enough, or attractive enough!”

You know what my group told me? They said, “Katie! Stop worrying and just be yourself!”

“You’re crazy!” I retorted. “I’m a bumbling idiot when I’m up in front! I can’t string two sentences together.” But you know something? Despite all my own internal perfectionistic voices screaming at me that just being myself wasn’t enough, I tried it anyway, and something happened. I realized two things: First, this was not about me; this was about the audience—those women out there whom God loved and to whom he wanted to speak. Second, this was not about my talk; it was about his vision, his message. I was just the messenger. So, if God wanted to use me as a human voice, then he was going to have to communicate to the audiences in spite of my shaky delivery. It was tremendously freeing to stop worrying about my image as the speaker and let the Holy Spirit give me his message. Miraculously, he has taken away my fear of public speaking, and for that I will be eternally grateful.

What Is Courage?
Courage is an outward display of the inward character quality of confidence. Courage is the strength to take risks, face danger, endure difficulty, or withstand fear. Notice, I didn’t say courage is an absence of fear. Rather, it withstands fear—you have to experience fear in order to be courageous! For instance, speaking in front of a group was a courageous act for me, because it scared the living daylights out of me, but for Shelley, my writing partner, speaking is fun (go figure!)—she never even gets butterflies. So, giving a speech is not an act of courage for Shelley. You need the fear in order to call it courage.

Esther’s Courage
One of the greatest chronicles of courage in the Bible is the dramatic story of Esther. When my kids were young, this is the story they constantly asked me to tell them—probably because of all the drama and plot-thickening suspense. The central cast of characters includes: Esther, the orphan who hides her Jewish heritage and wins a beauty contest to become queen; Haman, the wicked henchman who plots to annihilate all Jews because of one Jewish man who would not bow to him; and Mordecai, the Jew who didn’t bow, whose stirring words of exhortation challenged his niece, Esther, to face her fears and appeal to the king to save the Jews from disaster.

What was Esther afraid of? She was afraid to risk dying, which was the penalty for approaching the king uninvited (Esther 4:11).

What did Mordecai say to that? You’re going to die anyway. If you think your fear is protecting you, a Jewish woman, think again. You’re possibly doomed if you risk the king’s wrath, but you’re for sure doomed if you do nothing (Esther 4:13-14).

How did Esther show courage? Basically, she said: Okay, if I die, I die! Esther made up her mind to risk violating the rules of the king’s court. She called for a three-day fast and prayer ser vice for all the Jews in the city, after which she planned to approach the king. The story ends with Esther being able to dramatically reveal Haman’s plot, causing Haman to be hanged on the very gallows he built for Mordecai.

Courage Comes from Being Indwelled by God
Esther found courage in three ways, and there are three lessons for us in her story: (1) she used her fear to find her faith; (2) she prepared herself; and (3) she shifted the focus of concern from herself to others.

Esther Used Her Fear and Found Her Faith
If Esther had heard about the royal decree to kill the Jews and said, “No problem! I’ll just pop on into the throne room and set my husband, King Xerxes, straight,” we wouldn’t have called her courageous—we would have called her foolhardy, reckless, and rash. Instead, Esther’s fear caused her to put on the brakes and approach with caution. She spent time focusing on God and asking him for the strength and courage to proceed. The lesson for us is this: A courageous person is one who is indwelled by faith in God, in spite of feeling fearful (see Deuteronomy 31:6).

The contrast in Scripture between our own strength and what we can do in God’s strength is always striking. Courage seems to follow when you take God at his word, believe he’ll do what he says, remember his protection in the past, and place yourself in his care. The more faith you have in God’s power, the more courageous you’ll be.

When you are afraid, what is your first response? Do you hide? Or do you let your fear direct you to seek God, shift your faith to him, and ask for his power and courage to indwell you?

Esther Prepared Herself
Esther put everything on pause for three days. She used that time to think through and pray about her plan. Before Esther took those brave steps to the throne room, she had an established plan that gave her assurance. At the point of her greatest fear, she relied on her plan that was formulated out of her deepest convictions about justice, obedience, and God’s sovereignty. The next lesson for us is this: A courageous person is one who is indwelled by God’s convictions, in spite of outside pressure (see Psalm 119:106).

When my kids were teenagers, I talked to them about all types of peer pressure situations that would most probably come up. I encouraged them to settle in advance what their convictions were so that they wouldn’t be swayed in the moment and cave in to their fear of losing their friends. Similarly, we adults need to have our moral, ethical, and relational choices determined in advance. Although we can’t always anticipate all the crises that might come our way, our predetermined convictions can better equip us to face what does happen. Then, when we find ourselves in a dilemma (expected or not), we can act with courage by putting into practice what we have already decided.

When you are hesitant, what do you do? Do you cave in and do what others are demanding, or have you thought through your decisions in advance so that you can be more confident in the moment of fear?

Esther Shifted from Self-Preservation to Concern for Her People
Once Esther got her eyes off herself and thought about the greater issue—the preservation of her people—she found a reservoir of courage for making the right decision and carrying it out. When she was worried about her personal safety, she was hesitant, fearful. But once her perspective changed, she rose to the occasion and found the courage to put her own safety on the line. The third lesson for us is: A courageous person is one who is indwelled by God’s caring nature, in spite of the personal cost.

We see this type of courage in the apostle Paul, who time after time put his own safety aside for the sake of reaching one more city for Jesus (see 1 Thessalonians 2:2).

We’ve all seen news stories that feature brave heroes who rescued people in danger. Sometimes, when asked how they found the courage to jump in the icy river or run into a burning building or lift a crushed car, they shrug it off as something anyone would do. To those newly minted heroes, their acts of bravery feel not so courageous as perhaps kind, caring, or logical. Bravery was ignited when they saw someone in need and lost all thought of themselves.

When you feel fearful, what is at its source? Are you focused on yourself? That was my problem when I was afraid of public speaking. I was so self-conscious, all I could think about was what people were probably thinking of me. But when my concern grew for the women who needed to hear our God’s loving message, I found courage I didn’t know I had.

From Character Makeover: 40 Days with a Life Coach to Create the Best You by Katie Brazelton and Shelley Leith