Zondervan Mobile - Interview

Friday
May 16, 2008

AUTHOR INTERVIEW
Interview with Les and Leslie Parrott, authors of The Parent You Want to Be: Who You Are Matters More Than What You Do

More information about Les and Leslie Parrott

Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are founders of RealRelationships.com and the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University. Their bestselling books include Love Talk, Your Time Starved Marriage, and the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. Their work has been featured in The New York Times and USA TODAY and they have appeared on CNN, Good Morning America, and Oprah.

Identity Theft: Reclaiming Who God Created You to Be

Q: What is the main message you want readers to obtain from your book?
A: The primary message we want to get across is this: Your child's character hinges on the traits you exhibit as a parent. And who you are as a parent isn't left to fate, luck, or chance. You can choose to be the kind of parent you want to be. While plenty of things about your child's life are unpredictable and beyond your control, you can make certain your child has a parent with particular qualities. This book will show you how. You may be wondering why the traits you embody even matter. Let's make this plain: Your traits matter because your child is watching you more closely than you know.

Q: One question you ask in your book is, "Are you an affirming parent?" Why is this so important?
A: One reason for parents' less-than-stellar affirmation of their kids is that they don't recognize the profound worth of affirmation in a child's life. They think that lavishing their kids with praise might give them "big heads." They've bought into the lousy advice of Samuel Johnson, who said, "Praise, like gold and diamonds, owes its value only to its scarcity." No, no, no. Praise, when given from a sincere parent, is most valuable in abundance. The risk of building up an oversized ego is negligible. Think of it this way. Your child has a hole in her heart that can be filled only by her parents' praise. And if she doesn't receive enough affirmation from you, she'll go her whole life trying desperately to find it. She'll try her best, even as a grown woman, to do anything she can to please you and win your affirmation -- and eventually the affirmation of everyone else.

Q: What is another trait that is essential to good parenting?
A: Patience, according to many experts, is one of the most important traits a parent can master in raising kids. Why? Because first of all, kids are experts at trying their parents’ patience -- whether they mean to or not. And second, it's all too easy to lose our patience as parents. With one quick snap of annoyance, we can say or do something we soon regret. So how important is patience to parenting? Let's put it this way: It's impossible to be a loving parent without an abundance of patience. Maybe that’s why Paul begins his famous love poem of 1 Corinthians 13 with it: "Love is patient."

The Parent You Want to Be: Who You Are Matters More Than What You Do is available in hardcover, audio CD, and audio download.

For more information about, and to sample, The Parent You Want to Be: Who You Are Matters More Than What You Do, go to www.zondervan.com/cultures/en-us/Product/ProductDetail.htm?ProdID=com.zondervan.9780310272458

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